The Graffiti Cowboy and his Strange Commandments

[Matt in Franklin]

There was a madman, scratch that, still is a madman in my hometown, Franklin, Ohio, who has intrigued me for many years. He used to come into Marsh Supermarket when I worked there as a stocker on nights. He was an ancient creature and always wore the same thing...an old fashioned cowboy outfit, all white, complete with hat and boots, but written in marker all over his clothes, his hat, his car were his own personal commandments. In various sizes and colors. "No Guns, No Booze." "No Bibles" "No Upside-down Sex" et cetera. These sayings literally covered every inch of his person (save his skin) and no one knew what they meant. My old boss told me his house was once the same, but the city made him repaint it for aesthetic reasons. I wonder if it's the pink house up the street which has some obscure bible passage painted on the front. I still curse myself for not approaching him and asking him for his good word. We would however covertly follow him around the store whenever he came in to study his habits. He seemed simple enough, no other major quirks. However, every once and a while he would bring in ridiculously long, handwritten letters to give to the ladies in the bakery. The letters...you guessed it, only repeated his strange commandments in various sizes and colors and often filled up 10 or more pages. I was lucky enough to purloin one such letter, as the bakery was not locked on nights, but I've since lost it. Me and a fellow listener also saw him not long ago and followed him, in hopes of finding his house or else some scandel, but we eventually gave up and left his long white Caddy alone. Damn I wish I knew what he was about!